Hope, Change, Chia Pets

Yes, this is an actual commercial promoting an actual product. If I needed anymore reasons to not like Obama, this is the clincher. There's almost too much to say. First of all, the fact that Obama is being compared to Lincoln and Washington is like comparing Shia LaBeouf in Wall Street 2 to Charlie Sheen in the original. It's an atrocity. I'm offended that there are people in this world who would even think that, let alone express that opinion via Chia Pet.

Bud "Effin" Fox

Let's do a little SAT practice. Lincoln is to Obama as The Godfather is to...Yep, you guessed it: Waterworld. "Hope and Prosperity"???? Where! I'm as unemployed as David Spade, where the hell is my hope and prosperity?? And since when did hope and prosperity become the criteria for being enshrined in a Chia Pet? Washington founded the nation, Lincoln freed the slaves, and Obama...hoped for prosperity? If we were a nation accustomed to celebrating good intentions and wishful thinking, every one would be driving a Segway. "Well it seemed like a good idea!"

And what the hell is a Chia Pet anyway? Are those things really still around? In a world of iPhones, GPS, and Crocs, how are these things still relevant? And what cruel, cruel bastard is going to give that to someone as a gift on Christmas? Scarier still, there actually will be someone who think's that's a good idea. I have to stop because honestly, words can no longer express the fury I feel.

I hate you Shia LaBeouf. I really hate you.