Tool Time With Bill Maher

Tucked somewhere in between the third showing of Jumangi and Logjamming, HBO presents everyone's favorite show, Real Time With Bill Maher. At 10 every Friday evening, you can forgo going out with your friends and actually having a good time, and instead, spend an hour with one of the biggest losers that the 60's has to offer. His show basically consists of inviting a bunch of his hippie liberal friends (read: Ben Afleck, Michael Moore, etc.) and going back-and-forth about how awesome they are.

Actual excerpt from the show:

Maher: I hate gas-guzzlers! I like to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

Matt Damon: Me too!

Al Gore: I know I haven't been relevant for some time now, but we are all so much smarter and super-er than every one else.

George Clooney: Americans are so narrow-minded. I wish we could just run the country so that every one could have a voice; except for conservatives, evangelicals, tea party people, anyone who believes in God, pro-lifers, rednecks, white people, people who eat meat, people who don't drive Hybrids, people who aren't in PETA, business men who work hard and make a lot of money, and people who think America is a great country.

Kathy Griffin: I don't know why everyone hates me?

OK, OK, maybe that didn't really happen. But then again, didn't it? Maybe not this blatantly, but doesn't Bill Maher just get his pretentious, douche bag friends to get together and talk about how they're so enlightened and everyone else is retarded? Man, they may be right, if it wasn't for people, this world will be so much better. Seriously, you're an ass. I could sit around and talk to my like-minded friends about opinions we have in common, too. Really ground breaking stuff here, Billy.

What a bunch of BJ's.  I don't need to get biased, terrible opinions from people whose profession it is to act, i.e. not live in the real world. Trust me, if I wanted to get an opinion on the economy or the war in Iraq, I wouldn't ask BearManPig or the guy who co-starred in Gigli.

Alright politics and terrible show aside, Bill Maher has a face made for radio. He may be the ugliest person in America. If he somehow found a woman (or guy?) to procreate with, his baby would look something like this http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=173_1184995866 . You want to talk about an unfair world? How about a guy who looks like Sarah Jessica Parker getting his own TV show and making lots of money while I'm still unemployed.

Bill Maher has his own TV show, Michael Bay is still making movies, and I can't even get an interview. Whatever, screw it, at least I don't look like the old goat from Oregon Trail.